Category Archives: The Girl
Posts by The Girl.
Thursday Weigh-In & Exercise Report
Starting Weight: 298.2 pounds
Last Week’s Weight: 198.0 pounds
Today’s Weight: 198.4 pounds
Dude, look at me continue to yoyo! But really, I’m not going to get upset by .4 pounds gained.
Here’s why:
- This is the 4th week in a row I have weighed in at less than 200 pounds.
- I’m starting to actually feel my muscles when I run my hands over my arms, upper legs, and derriere.
- My clothes are fitting differently. This one’s kind of hard for me to track because my clothes have all been so big on me for a while, but I noticed that a pair of pajama pants I hadn’t worn in several weeks were baggy all over; they were a little tight around my abdomen before.
- Some of my food decisions are still kind of out of line. I’m going to continue as I have been for the next week and a half or so, but after that it’s on. (Why not just start now? I have a lot going on and I don’t want to stress myself out. I’m not giving myself permission to eat six chocolate bars every day, but I AM giving myself permission to chill out about my food choices for just a little bit longer.)
- I am awesome.
Working out is going really well. I do better on some days than others–I’ve noticed that Wednesdays are generally more difficult for me than Saturdays. I had a super hard time yesterday (I haven’t been sleeping well; I’d only had coffee, a few bites of steak salad, and a cupcake to eat before my appointment; I was processing some upsetting information from a friend) and was close to tears five or six times. There was also a moment when Morgan and I both kind of thought I was going to pass out. It was cool.
I get frustrated with myself, my lack of coordination, and my lack of strength. But when I stop to think about how far I’ve come in 11 sessions, I realize how amazing my body is. When I remember that my brain is relearning how to process how my body CAN move and how it fits in the world, it becomes even more remarkable.
I am so proud.
Growing Is Forever
BRB, Life’s Changing
In the spirit of being courageous, I’ve made some big decisions recently.
So, while I get my ducks in a row, I ask that you be patient with me. Big stuff is brewing :)
(No, I’m not pregnant.)
Thursday Weigh-In
Starting Weight: 298.2 pounds
Last Week’s Weight: 198.8 pounds
Today’s Weight: 198.0 pounds
DO YOU SEE THAT? 100 POUNDS DOWN! IT’S OFFICIAL! Let me just take a few minutes to take that in.
Here’s to a continued slow but steady loss!
Thursday Weigh-In
Starting Weight: 298.2 pounds
Last Week’s Weight: 198.8 pounds
Today’s Weight: 198.8 pounds
The good: I maintained!! I worked out with my trainer twice!! My body is amazing!!
The bad: I didn’t lose and am still floating in that same range I’ve been in for a while. Also, my band has been temperamental lately.
The ugly: I could not get unhungry Monday. I started the day off by eating well and lasted until late afternoon, when I said, “Screw this, let’s order pizza!!” Also, Coldstone and I may have had an encounter or two this week. Gotta cut back on that.
I DID THIS
I totally did this (see YouTube video below) tonight. Three times, for a total of about 1.25 minutes. Minus the alphabet thing.
“That doesn’t look hard,” the Boy just said.
“You try it,” I replied.
(This works your obliques as well as all core muscles: abs, lower back, hips, and pelvis.)
Supercritical
I’m everybody’s cheerleader. I’m always encouraging my friends to treat themselves with care and pointing out the positive when all they can see is the negative. Depressed? But look at everything you’ve overcome! Depression doesn’t typically last forever! Good things will come your way! Not losing weight? Hey, you’re maintaining! You’re exercising! You’re working hard at changing your habits! Bad workout? You tried! Off days happen!
When it comes to myself, however, it’s a completely different story. Depressed? Snap out of it already. Not losing weight? Stop eating so much. Bad workout? Your body is completely incapable of doing such complicated movements.
Michelle at Sangria Sisters wrote a blog post several months ago about putting down her sword–about working to counter the nagging, self-doubting, self-critical voice in her head. I really, seriously need to do that.
I’ve always been very critical of myself for reasons I’m not totally aware of. I was valedictorian of my graduating class in high school, but I didn’t have a 4.0. I’m the third person in my family to ever graduate from college (my mom was the first, older cousin was the second), but I was 25 at the time and not 22. Also, $100,000 in loan debt (I want to cry every.single.time I think about that). I have a beautiful home, but it’s not spotless. I’m in a wonderful relationship with a fantastic man, but I don’t do enough for him. I’ve lost weight, but not fast enough and I still have so much to lose. I’m exercising, but not often enough.
And I allow it to hold me back. I want to write a book, but I’m not creative enough. I want to work for myself, but I’m not talented enough to make a living unless someone else pays me.
Is it any wonder I’m so depressed and tense? My self-critic has way too much control. I really need to take a page from Michelle’s book and lay down the freaking sword already.
Here’s my plan for achieving that:
Step one: Recognize the thoughts. I didn’t realize that I had all of this floating around in there until I started writing this post. I have a tendency to get lost in thought, but I never really know what those thoughts are. I don’t know if this is an ADHD thing or just a general self-awareness thing, but I’ve got to get it figured out.
Step two: Recognize that the thoughts might make sense on some level. Yes, BG, you could exercise more.
Step three: Recognize that the thoughts don’t make sense on a practical level. You’ve been exercising twice a week because your muscles are still getting used to being used. It’s taking two or three days to recover between workouts. It’s not because you’re lazy, it’s because you’re trying to increase your strength while remaining injury-free. More workouts will come with time.
Step four: Repeat.
It’s going to be difficult, I’m not gonna lie. But I have to cut myself some slack–this is not healthy.
Come On Arms, You Can Do It!!!
Yesterday was workout numero seis with my trainer, Morgan. I have come to two conclusions:
- My arms are weak.
- The rest of my body is weak.
It was the most discouraging workout I’ve had yet. I struggled with literally every exercise I attempted. It was just a totally off day.
I realized that this is part of the reason I have a trainer right now.
I would have quit if I’d been doing it on my own.
But I’m doing things I never thought I’d be capable of at this point. Exercises that involve jumping to the side and landing in a squat…with one foot on a step. Pull ups, even though they’re assisted. I even think that I’m going to be able to add a third and fourth day working out on my own soon, since my abdominal muscles are recovering faster now. Seriously, it’s been hurting to breathe and laugh lately.
So yeah. I fell on my face more than once using an abdominal roller. Lunges walking backwards instead of forwards? An unmitigated disaster. But I stayed for an hour and I made great demands on my body.
Today I woke up in agony, but I’m looking forward to seeing what I can do when I go back to Morgan on Wednesday.
The victories abound!
Oh, and here’s an ab roller exercise. I was trying to do these, but going from side to side in a V instead of just forward and back. And I definitely don’t have the strength to go to the floor.
And the Winner Is….
There was some drama with my new pair of glasses, but now the prescription is correct!
This is the angle with the least amount of glare I could muster!
The outer part of the frame is black, the inside is magentaish. Please ignore all lint.
Congratulations, Pair Number One!!!
Thanks for all of your input, dear readers!